how to describe

I wish I could remember how to describe

the smell of green

the grasses and wildflowers breathing by my feet

the maples that didn’t fit into my words

I wish I could remember

I wish I could own that scent as mine

to smell like green

sweet green

I wish I could put her on over my head like a dress

and dance around in her viridian simplicity

I wish I could remember how to describe

the way the wind pulls at my wide hemmed pants

stirring them around my ankles

reminding me of the holy spirit

walking before me, beside me

in my sleeves

I wish I could take that feeling as my own

the freeform wind

I wish it would live in my linens, my layers, my legs

to be thrown on like a pair of pants

but to live on after they are put away

I wish I could remember how to describe

the tugging heartleap

of my pulse, my throat, my lungs, eyes and mouth

when I realize you are speaking to me

the feeling that makes my eyes water with emotion

I wish I had the words to say

that it feels like an umbrella, upside down, in my heart

like scribbles being straightened in my stomach

like when the ground gives out from beneath me

and I freefall into a skinned knee

I wish I could take this oval shaped emotion as my own

to keep it like an emerald inside of me

a touchstone of your presence

I wish I could remember how to describe

the aching for heaven

the ways I wish this world would end

in order to be near you

I wish I knew how to describe all of the traces of you here

with new eyes, new words

and unused metaphors

to finally describe the art I find here

only to realize that it all looks like you

and to know that this must be what it means to say,

isn't he beautiful

I wish I could know how to pull the ache on over my head

to wear it like a blanket

an ache that does not hurt

because it asks you to be my everything

and for you to lay every beauty on me--

sweeter than the green simplicity,

freer than the sleeved and gentle wind,

richer than the tugging emeralds in my throat

no, all of these at once

when you puddle the things I wish I knew how to describe

inside your hands

and give me their language and complete beauty

in the breadth of your love

g.c.s