the girl I want to be

the girl I want to be eats plants everyday

she grows her own

in a vegetable garden that she shares

with anyone who asks

the girl I want to be saves her money

so she can spend it on local merchandise

local tea

local art

and local clothing

but only when she needs it

the girl I want to be doesn't advertise

or let herself be marketed to

she owns no social media

she chooses phone calls and writes letters

the girl I want to be never stops creating

she paints

she writes

she takes photos

she makes videos

she decorates cakes and lattes

she sews clothes

she makes music

she dances

she bakes

and she sings everyday

the girl I want to be has a perennial front lawn

full of peonies, lilies, and salvia

she takes care of her houseplants

and waters them without forgetting

the girl I want to be does yoga everyday

she teaches herself a forearm stand

she treats her body like a true temple

and knows how to focus her mind on her breathing

onto her nothingness

and her Lord's overwhelming sustenance

the girl I want to be knows how to make her own garments

and she doesn't follow trends

she never buys things online

but chooses only the pieces that fill her with joy

the girl I want to be is kind over judgmental

she doesn't try to be funny or popular

but is honest above everything

and she knows she will always be valued

but that she will never be the best

the girl I want to be wants to see everything

she wants to fly on planes

sail on boats

run away to an island and

find new homes everywhere she goes

the girl I want to be isn't afraid of being afraid

she knows that anxiety is only a passing cloud

and that peace is issued in both stratus and cirrus

the girl I want to be knows how to give everything away

produce, money, advice, friendship, time, art, love

she gives without restraints on her heart

or her hands

the girl I want to be sees Jesus in everything

but is slow to put His words and will into a box

she has an open mind and heart

guided by His word

the girl I want to be

is willing to let go of the girl she wants to be

in order to follow what Jesus wants for her life

even if it's giving up the garden

giving up the merchandise

giving up the art

giving up the front yard

giving up the houseplants

giving up the yoga

giving up the clothing

giving up the travel and

giving up the peace